It's the weekend!!...

...which means absolutely nothing with 2 under 2s!

Today I've found myself fantasising the following...the weekend starts, you have no plans in particular, tonight, Friday night, you might get home, get snuggled and order a take-away, open some wine and chill with a movie. Or maybe you'll go out, on a whim - with no planning and baby-sitting booking, "just nipping out for some dinner and drinks" you'd say and off you go. 

Then you'll go to sleep, and you don't set an alarm and you haven't birthed any mini-alarms so you sleep and you sleep and you sleep. Until your body is well rested and you get up. It might be 10am, or 11am, what difference does it make. It's a lie in yes, and much appreciated but no big deal, you often catch up on sleep on the weekend. Then grab some breakfast, you'll cook eggs and eat them hot, accompanied by tea, drunk above tepid. 

Then you'd get dressed or not, whatever. 

Then you'll go out or not, whatever.

Then you might cook dinner or not, whatever. 

Then you'll go to sleep for another full 8 hour stretch and wake up for another day full of choice and independence...

No one feeding from you.

No nappies to change.

No laundry to put on, put out and put away.

No time-outs to issue.

No bottles to sterilise.

No snotty noses to wipe.

I'm fed up, if you hadn't guessed. I'm feeling totally fed up with the relentlessness of parenting the minis - my 4 month old has sleep regression and my usually golden nearly-2-year-old is giving the terrible twos a taster. Errgh.

I am sharing this bizarre post in the hope that I can read this in a years' time and smile to myself smugly as I now have 2 sleeping-through-the-night children who display exemplary behaviour and manners or...more likely I will sigh and think, oh boy...if only you knew what lay ahead.

Stay Strong *fist pump*

I'm backkkk

Golly, has it really been 4 years since my last post?! Doesn't time fly. I have often thought about this blog and wish I had kept it up; partly because it's a good exercise to process, think, write and ponder on life happenings but it's also a great record for the future...when life may have moved on, my once big time problems faded into insignificance, or the memories that are so fresh and I believe will stay that way are slightly stale. So I am going to write; whatever I like and whatever I'm thinking about, whether it's 400 words or 40, I am determined to at least bring them out of head and commit them to screen.

So 4 years since my last post...what has happened? Namely 2 utterly adorable and gorgeous mini-humans. My daughter is fast approaching 2 and my son just 4 months - they are absolutely fabulous and I love being a Mumma but boy is it a steep learning curve. The last 2 years I have seen many new dimensions to my character and lifestyle - strength I never knew existed, frustration I didn't think possible, loneliness I didn't expect, sleep deprivation...yeah kinda expected that one, joy and pride that makes my heart want to spontaneously combust, selflessness that I've had to dig deep for, fears for the future that can keep me awake at night, laughter that comes from making a fool of yourself for your toddler's entertainment, determination and discipline that are the backbone to raising 2 humans you'll be happy to claim as yours... I said it was a steep curve right?!?

I would sometimes (and still do) internally (or not so internally) roll my eyes at those who talk all day about their kids and their role as parents as if it is all they've ever done and will do.
I do, however, understand them so much better. Motherhood is all consuming. Children will take and take and take and take. It's not a bad thing, they are new to this world and it's a hard job understanding how it works (we're still trying our best to work that one out) They do not do it spitefully or selfishly - it's just their innate nature. It is all consuming but takes discipline to not allow it to consume you - who you are, what you enjoy doing, how you relax, recharge and feed your soul.
Not to say I have cracked this at all. I am fighting to keep a balance and to not lose sight of Trev along the way.

In a spiritual sense, I am trying to keep my eyes fixed on Father God - who is giver of life and love. Trying to keep my ear to His heart for vision, direction and instruction. I have to believe there is a greater purpose for me to further His Kingdom - to reach the lost, broken and downhearted.

In a non-spiritual sense, I am trying to have conversations that don't revolve around the children (especially with my non-kid-bearing friends), finishing conversations with my Mummy friends even if it means bribing the littles with chocolate, pursing passions and interests of mine - someone once said 'I used to like reading before I had kids' - she didn't mean that she no longer enjoys it, just that sadly she feels there isn't time to enjoy a book once you've got such limited free time and so many demands on it. These things sound simple, but believe me - they are not.
After putting the kids down to sleep, packing away dinner stuff, sorting the spectacular array of toys that scatter the lounge, putting out laundry and folding clothes, prepping lunch for the next day and barely catching breath, I'd like nothing more than to curl up in bed before 9pm or veg in front of the tv. There will be days for that no doubt but I hope there'll more too...

So I suppose that's the update. There will be much mention of the littles. There will hopefully be something else as well. Who knows?!

Until next time, let's hope it's not another 4 years!x

Home Alone

Down at Yeates HQ we're currently talking about very grown up things such as surveys, solicitors, searches and sales. Our chosen home has a Sold sign outside and pending all the contracts working out, we'll be moving in over the summer! So I've been thinking about the exciting things I'm going to do once we're Home Alone again....

It's not to say I couldn't do these things where we are now, just things I can't wait to do when I'm in a home of my own again...

1. Cook Pancakes for breakfast in my PJs...or Eggy Bread. Or maybe both. I love love love breakfast, it's my favourite meal of the day and a cooked one is a real treat. We've made best buds with the Cafe since living at home but the thought of not having to get dressed to get it is rather exciting. Although there is the washing up...

2. Cooking Spaghetti Bolognese. I'm not even a huge fan of this and would never order it at a restaurant but it's something I've not cooked since moving...partly because it requires 2 pots! I can't wait to make a good old batch of it, eat it for dinner then pick at the leftovers!

3. Eating Pizza in the Bath. Nuff said.

4. No carpet! I have thin, medium length hair but it puzzles me that I have any left on my head the way it falls out. Vacuuming is rubbish because it all gets trapped in the Dyson so I resort to scraping my foot across he carpet to gather it in hair balls! Disgusting I know. Anyway, I've never had a choice over a floor before and I can't wait to have wooden floor that are anti-hair-ball friendly. 

5. Baking. Baking for friends. Baking for birthdays. Baking for no other reason at all. Baking for me is thinking time and dancing time. I love being by myself, whacking on some tunes and pottering away until I produce something either beautiful or tasty, hopefully both. I have sadly neglected this hobby and I plan to rectify this situation as soon as possible. Trying new recipes, setting a challenge, using new ingredients...all in the name of cake!

So not necessarily in this order, this is what I'll be up to when I'm let loose on my own...so rock and roll!

Trev x

Love of my Life

I have a mildly unhealthy obsession with the flaky, buttery, chocolatey, deliciousness of a Pain au Chocolat.
If there was one item of food I would choose to live on for the rest of my life, it would be them.
It started as a little girl when my best friend would regularly stop off at the bakery in Muswell Hill and buy each of us a Pain au Chocolat. I would wait eagerly each day praying she hadn't fallen ill or been running too late to pop into bakery. The chunky parcel in a grease-stained bag was a sign of hope and the countdown to lunch would be begin.

One of the best weekends of my life was when my then-boyfriend-soon-to-be-fiancé-now-husband took me to Paris for the day. Whisked off in first class Eurostar, a beautiful sunny day and a marriage proposal at the top of Le Sacre Coeur of course made it a very special time. However...I made it my mission to find the best pain au chocolat in Paris in one day....I managed 6! Such a special time.

Anyway, I'm pleased to say that it hasn't been a quick fling or teenage crush, I've put in some hard graft maintaining my relationship with these beauties. And to save you the arduous ordeal yourself, here's
Trev's guide to best Pain au Chocolat in town:

Sainsbury's

Sainsburys
Only sold in packs of 2 (oh dear!)
Nice flake to the pastry however a little dense towards the middle. Their glaze can often catch a little but not beyond the first layer. 4/5

Starbucks
Good size but very disappointing taste. Don't think they're baked on site either. Even in the morning, they are very bready and need a huge coffee to help it go down. 2/5

Greggs
Now if you catch these warm, you're in for a real treat. Soft, flaky and often gooey chocolate in the middle. If you're near a Greggs in the morning, why not? 4/5

Wild Bean (BP)
If you're looking for an absorbent brick to help with damp proofing, this might just do the job. Dry, usually stale and heavier than a pint of milk. Don't do it. Ever. 0/5

Waitrose
Cue Gregg Wallace: "Soft, buttery, flaky, rich...very good, very good indeed". Too small in size for my liking but baked in store, these are so good! Go early and you might catch them warm, go late and you might catch them reduced and they still taste good. Win win. 5/5

Tesco
Bleurgh. Nothing special but not hideous. Go elsewhere if you can. 2/5

M&S
Very buttery, flaky and decadent (as all M&S things are). My first choice here would actually be the all butter croissant as I think they have a better taste but a good effort! 3/5

Waitrose Part-Baked 

DIY

Now, if you're looking for a home-bake, these are 2 very good options:

Waitrose part-baked (from frozen)
I find these require the oven temperature a little lower than stated as there's a risk of burning the top whilst the inside is still raw but very good once you get it right. Great thing to have stashed in the freezer when you want to stay in your jammys. 4/5

In a tin
Really easy although might count as 'baking' as you have to roll out from the can, divide along the perforated lines and form into a pain au chocolat. Yummy but they come out quite small :( 3/5








You will note that there is no nutritional information as in my world, pain au chocolat don't have calories. Hurrah!

Happy Pain au Chocolat munching!

Trev x

Should vs. Shall

If there's one word I can't stand, it's should.
You come straight home from work on a freezing night to snuggle on the sofa but you really should have gone to the gym. You sit back watching some trashy reality show but you really should have done some cleaning. You go straight to bed but should have read the Bible, you should have called your Mum, should have done some ironing, should have text your friend, should have should have should have!!

The thing is, it's not anyone but myself issuing these 'shoulds' out. I tell myself I should do plenty of things, don't and then sit there feeling guilty for it.
I suppose we get these expectations from the environment around us, from what those we love do with their time, how they carry on their business and then think we should be doing the same. We then start to live under obligation to fulfil these.

One thing I really enjoyed when I finished full-time education was not having the 'shoulds' of study over me. When I got home from work, there was no studying that should have been done, no revision, no extra reading...I felt free! That lasted all of about 5 minutes before all other shoulds appeared. As a newlywed, they became home-based; cleaning, cooking, mending, working out, hosting - again, all my own expectations.

Essentially, should is a simple past tense of shall. However, shall doesn't seem to have the ugly heaviness of should, it seems full of hope and carries a much lighter sentence. "I shall go and clean the toilet" vs. "I should go clean the toilet"…puts it into a whole new light! I shall because I want to and I will, as opposed to I feel I have to.

I imagine the key to breaking this cycle is to have a good old think about what expectations we feel people have of us, (or most importantly we have of ourselves), why we feel we are under obligation and why we are shoulding and not shalling!

I should really do this...argh! I shall do this...

Trev x

Apple Pie in the Sky

Ok so a million years after everyone else...I'm starting a blog! Woo look at me.
I used to think of blogs as quite egotistical and to be fair, they are! But I still find myself drawn to reading and enjoying them so I've set up my very own. Read it if you like, or don't...

Hopes Set High. This is my statement of faith. I have hopes, I have them set high and amazingly I have a God that exceeds them.
I am hopeful from the minuscule to the humongous.
I am hopeful as a choice.
I am hopeful not because of my own abilities or strengths but because God is faithful, kind and just that good.
I hope that my life will be an adventure, filled with laughter, challenges and love.
I hope that I eat some really good food (this will be a common theme!)
I hope for a new home soon.
I hope that my life will glorify God in all I do.

Now that I've had my Veruca-Salt-style 'I want the whole world' spiel, I need to acknowledge that I've had a good few of my hopes and dreams realised already...
I had a wonderful childhood in a secure, loving and supportive family
I have a great job, in a great church and love what I do everyday.
I married an amazing man who's kind, forgiving and handsome.
I've made precious friendships with people who I admire, love and can be myself with.

After only 25 years on this earth and all those good things, you can see why my hopes are set high!
Well...how else would the little old ant have moved that rubber tree plant?!

I hope that this will be a place for me to share the significant and substantial but also futile and fun things that are happening around me so...let's see how we go!

Trev x